


The Savior

by ChokolatteJedi



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Altered Mental States, Dark, Gen, One Shot, Post - Half-Blood Prince
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-07
Updated: 2006-05-07
Packaged: 2017-11-08 00:10:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/436951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/pseuds/ChokolatteJedi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry awoke to a familiar darkness</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Savior

**Author's Note:**

> Oodles of thanks to the fantastic mysweetkoinu for the beta and letting me bounce my evil angsty ideas off you! Smooches!

Harry awoke to a familiar darkness. A blackness absolute.

The dark never really ended. That is to say, there was an end to the blackness, but he could never reach it. It was always there, at the edge of his sight, that faint glow. Taunting him.

The darkness was everything. So complete, it seemed to fill his ears and mouth as well. It felt almost like laying under his thin blanket at the Dursley’s with the familiar cotton fuzziness surrounding him. In his nose, in his ears, in his mouth. No need to open his eyes; he would just see that black sheet.

And some days the darkness faded just slightly, as though a corner of the blanket had been lifted, and he could hear some noises. Voices calling to him.  
 _  
Join us. We love you. You’re safe now. Come home. You’re free. We love you. Join us.  
_  
And a different set of voices, also calling out for him.  
 _  
Join us. We miss you. We need you. Save us.  
_  
He didn’t know which voices to join, even if he could unwrap himself from the blackness long enough to do so. He wanted to just give up, to join the first voices in a blissful sleep, but the others still needed him. As long as he was alive, he had to save everyone.

It wasn’t vanity. It wasn’t martyrdom. It wasn’t stupidity. It was atonement.

He had let others die, and for that his life was forfeit. As long as he was needed, he was bound to serve them, to make up for the lives he couldn’t save. There was always someone he couldn’t save. And every day the list grew longer. Far too many names were written on his conscience, engraved on his soul, for him to rest now.

Maybe someday the balances would tip, and he would be judged ‘good enough.’ Free at last to live, to rest, to just breathe. That would be a wonderful day indeed.

~~`~~`~~`~~

Then one day, one of the voices whispered to him. _And when you are free, who then will save those who would die? If you are not there, would there be another in your place?_

_Perhaps._ He replied, not having thought of it before. _If I refused to help; if I gave in to the darkness, would someone else be condemned to fill my place? Or would all those I would save die anyway?_

_I know not._

_I cannot condemn another to my fate, as I cannot condemn those I save to be lost. I don’t think I can ever be free.  
_  
And it struck him then. He had thought this before: realized this before. He would never be free for the very reason he was trapped there in the first place. He would never give up his own soul for another’s.

And as he realized this, there was a slow building of light, creeping in from the sides of his vision.

~~`~~`~~`~~

Harry found himself in the Forbidden Forest. He had followed the footprints of someone, he didn’t know who, who had been stumbling though the thick brush. He at last reached a small clearing, no bigger than his dorm room, and saw Snape lying at the feet of the Dark Lord. 

Snape.

The man who had killed Albus. He was slowly bleeding from the lacerations crisscrossing his body. It would only be fair, to let him die here. Fairer than what he had done to Albus. Completely fair. And then a tiny part of Harry’s brain thought:  
 _  
It’s no more than he deserves.  
_  
Voldemort chuckled viciously, his red eyes gleaming in some sick parody of the Headmaster’s blue twinkle. “I know what you thought boy. Your weakness has betrayed you. If you let Snape die now, on your neck will his soul hang.”

“No! You killed him, not me!” Harry protested, trying to remember if anyone had seen him leave the battle in pursuit of the Dark Lord.

“Ah, but you have a chance to save him now, as you could not save so many others. Will you take it? I have no wand; your shot is open. All you have to do is kill me, and we will both die.”

“Someone will find-“

“No one will find Severus. If you kill me, utterly and completely, all three of us die. If you try to stop me another way, all three of us may survive.”

A soft voice spoke in Harry’s mind, not for the first time.  
 _  
They will come. They will find the dark one and save him. You can let go.  
_  
He knew this voice. It haunted his nightmares and toyed with his dreams.  
 _  
Mother?_

_You called me that, yes._

_If I don’t kill Voldemort, what will happen?_

_If you only kill this embodiment and do not destroy the fragment of his soul hidden within your own?_

_Yes._

_He will exist only in your mind, as I do._

_And the others will be saved?_

_Someone will save everyone. A new savior will be borne from the ashes.  
_  
A new savior? Someone else forced to live the life he had, with faceless names hung ‘round his neck like tombstones? Harry had one chance. He could finally be at rest, but only by sacrificing another to take his place.

Harry raised his arm, cast his spell, and watched sadly as the light rocketed from his wand and into his foe. Voldemort fell, and Harry was enveloped by a welcome darkness.

~~`~~`~~`~~

Minerva, Tonks, Kingsley, and Charlie burst through the hedge just in time to see Harry fall. Minerva and Charlie rushed to the boy hero’s side while the two aurors checked on Snape and the Dark Lord. 

“Snape is still alive ma’am!” Shacklebolt reported.

“Take him and Harry to St. Mungo’s.” Minerva ordered. “You too Charlie.” Both men nodded and grabbed their charges, reaching for their Order portkeys almost simultaneously.

~~`~~`~~`~~

The Healers didn’t know what was wrong with Harry, why their boy savior would not wake. His eyelids remained closed, though his eyes could be seen flickering frantically beneath the calm exteriors. He seemed to be trapped within his own mind, and even their best medics could not reach him. He was held in the shadows of his own soul.

~~`~~`~~`~~

Harry awoke to a familiar darkness. A blackness absolute.


End file.
